"In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes."

Andy Warhol

Andy Warhol spoke those words in 1968. I don't believe he had any idea how ferociously we as a culture would embrace his idea. The proliferation of "reality" tv has turned most of us into instant celebrities or shameless voyuers of a sort unimaginable fifty years ago. This has been driven home to me powerfully over the last two months, and sadly reinforced over the past week.

In between the incessant speculation concerning Michael Jackson's death (was it murder?) and burial (when and where?) there was a gruesome murder in San Diego. A body was discovered in a suitcase, mutilated beyond normal means of indentification. The victim was later identifited as Jasmine Fiore, a swimsuit model. Her husband (former, ex, there is some debate over the true nature of their relationship), Ryan Jenkins fled to Canada where he was later found dead by his own hand. It is a sad commentary on the sensibilities of our culture that this gruesome crime was deemed newsworthy not because of the act of murder, but because the dead woman was a swimsuit model and the suspected killer was a reality TV show contestant.

Jenkins mutilated Fiore's body beyond normal recognition in an attempt to thwart police. His gruesome work failed when authorities used serial numbers from Fiore's breast implants to establish her identity. I must confess to reading the story more than once because I was unaware that implants had serial numbers and was gripped by more than a little disbelief at how anyone would know to look for them. Jenkin's suicide means that we will never know the reasons for his horrific act, and we will never know what transpired in the final hours of a young womans' life.

Unfortunately Fiore's death also requires that we pause and consider what passes for beauty in our culture. Why did Ms. Fiore feel the need to alter her body? Would her life have turned out any differently had she not chosen to have appearance altering surgery? We will probably never know. It is a sad fact that some three hundred thousand woman choose to have breast augmentation surgery each year. This number includes those who suffer from diseasses such as breast cancer, but the ones who receive the publicity, and those who have most of the procedures performed are those who have the surgery done for purely cosmetic reasons. As the father of two daughters I am greatly concerned over the messages our culture sends to young women concerning their bodies.

When did it become acceptable, even desirable, for women to mutilate their bodies? I thought the sexual liberation of the 1960's and the feminist movement of the 1970's did away with the objectification of women. It it a damning indictment of our culture that women are still more valued for their physical appearance than for their abilities. It is even more disturbing that young women today are willingly, even enthusiastically, pursuing such a course of action. Men are rapidly joining women in this race for perfection. But women remain the primary pursurers of surgical augmentation, and it's primary victims.

I did not fall in love with the woman who is my wife because she had a perfect body or was more beautiful than anyone else. I fell in love with the person behind the outward appearance. She was, and is, witty, strong, opinionated, and passionate. Those things attracted me to her then and still powerfully attract me to her now. When and where did we lose the understanding of true beauty? Does anyone care? It certainly seems that Hugh Hefner and the power brokers behind "adult" entertainment don't. Nor does it seem that fashion designers and marketers. The internet and entertainment mediums share in the guilt as well, perhaps even moreso because they are the primary promoters through their websites and programming. These all share a portion of the blame for this objectification of women. The pursuit of our 15 minutes of fame has cheapened and degraded us all.

God made each one of us. The Psalmist recognized that each of us is "fearfully and wonderfully made (see Psalm 139:14)." That means that God recognizes the wonder and the beauty of all of us just as we are. His love for us is not conditioned on perfect bodies or faces, but conditioned on who God is and the love and grace he extends to us through His Son. We don't have to alter our bodies to earn that love. Why do we settle for something far less? And yet we do, from Rogaine to Botox, from tanning beds to liposuction. All our attempts to find perfection only mask the true beauty of who we are and blind us from knowing true love and its author.

You can have my 15 minutes....if that's fame, I don't want it.

The Valley of the Shadow of Death

Still fumbling with the shoe covers, I stumbled into the delivery room. What confronted me there took my breath away. There to my left lay my wife, holding her hand out to me, seeking my comfort. My newborn son lay on a warming table to my right. I stood frozen between the two, uncertain where I should be. As I stood watching my son I saw his tiny arms and legs twitch once and then again. Then before my eyes he went still. My son Jonathan died that moment, and something inside of me died that day too.



Those events took place August 12, 1987, twenty-two years ago today. I was 26 years old, old enough to know that life was hard, but young enough to still believe that I could change the world. I could never have guessed that this would not be the only time I would see a newborn son die. My son Timothy died in March of 1989. Throughout all of the things that I have seen and experienced in my life these are the darkest days of all. There has never been anything so hard, so devastating, so lonely.



We fear nothing more than death. Death is seen as the end of all things, the termination of not just life but also of anything associated with the one who dies. Death is a thief who takes from us that which is not his. We see death as an enemy, a mindless monster driven only by blind instinct. Death to most is a thing to be avoided at all costs.

The death of a child is the most awful thing I have ever known, easily surpassing any and all of the other struggles of my life. When a child dies there is the loss of hope, the loss of dreams. The death of a child leaves a gaping wound that defies our attempts at healing, taunting us as we see others enjoying what we have lost. I have known all of these things through the loss of not one but two sons.

Death can be overcome, not in a physical sense, but in the heart and spirit, the emotion and will. My wife and I took years to find healing, in many respects that healing is still in progress, but we are healing. Johnathan and Timothy taught me that death is a part of life and by embracing their deaths I have come to be more whole. I have learned that death is not permanent, that there is a part of each of us that lives on. As a Christian I have always believed in eternity, but the deaths of my sons drove me to delve more deeply into the question than cliches and simple, yet misguided answers. The truth is that not only do my sons live in my heart and memory, they live in heaven in the presence of God.

Death is not the end of dreams. I have come to understand that God desires to use me to bring comfort to others who have experienced death. Death does not bring an end to life for those left behind but it does require a reassessment of those things we consider important. Too many of us expect (actually it's closer to demand) that life should unfold according to our desires. We seldom consider the cost of the lives we desire. Death guides us all to reexamine priorities, desires, hopes, and goals. Through the process of grief we can come to better understand what proper priorities should be and how our lives can be more in line with the will of God.

Death is never meaningless. The death of children never makes sense, whether those children are infants or teens. There comes with death overwhelming emotions that cause us to doubt that God is in control of the events of this life. But nothing is farther from the truth. God is in control and death is neither out of His control or beyond His purposes. It is true that we may not find the answers we want in this lifetime, but we can be assured that God has a reason and purpose for permitting death to take a loved one. I have come to understand that my own life before the deaths of my sons, filled with abuse and neglect, was a preparation for learning to deal with the terrible aftermath of death. I have seen that death is not an end but the beginning of a new aspect of life, one with greater meaning and purpose. My own journey from death back to life has shown me the power of God to redeem the most terrible tragedy.

Johnathan and Timothy have bypassed the troubles and struggles of this life. They enjoy the presence of God the Father rather than struggle with the failings of their earthly father. Their deaths, while still painful to recall, have made me a stronger, more faithful man. I thank God not only for them but also for the lessons their deaths taught me.

The Harry Potter and the Supreme Court

I recently went to the movies (one of my favorite pastimes) and saw "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince." I must confess that I have read all but the last of the Harry Potter books and have seen all of the movies. It's not that I'm a great fan of either the books or the movies, but I invest my time in them precisely because they are so popular. There is great power in the media, the type of power that was once the exclusive province of the printed word, power to shape minds and attitudes. As a parent and a concerned Christian I feel an obligation to understand what's being promoted philosophically to the wider culture. Call me what you will, but I don't trust the culture to promote what's best for anyone, especially my kids. But I digress...

I found the "Half-Blood Prince" to be visually entertaining, well-paced and for the most part well acted (Not that I'm Siskel or Ebert, mind you). If your idea of entertainment is to spend 2 1/2 hours in a darkened room unplugged from your world then "Half-Blood Prince" will fill the bill nicely. But there is a troubling aspect to the world of Harry Potter that unfortunately has an all to real counterpart to our world.

The Harry Potter stories, at their core, are morality stories. They are about self-discovery, overcoming loss, friendship, and right and wrong. That's precisely where Harry Potter falters and exposes the bankruptcy of the world of Hogwarts. The Harry Potter stories are morality stories with no moral center. In Harry Potter's world there is deception, manipulation, and the taking of life, and ambition among other things. I can hear some asking "How's that different from our world?" The answer lies in the fact that in our world there is, or used to be, a moral foundation that delineated right and wrong, truth and falsehood and other essential fundamentals. This moral foundation provides (or provided) the parameters within which civilization could reasonably operate and made possible the concepts of personal responsibility and social order. While it is true that these concepts exist in the fictional world or Harry Potter, they are not and cannot be sustained because there is no moral foundation upon which they rest. Thus civilization becomes the Darwinian ideal of "survival of the fittest."

By now you're probably wondering what any of this has to do with the Supreme Court. Since you asked....

A radio news report today announced that the Supreme Court has agreed to hear a suit challenging the legality of a cross shaped monument in the Mojave Desert. The cross, originally erected by a veteran's organization as a part of a memorial to those who died in defense of their country, has been at the center of an eight year long legal battle concerning the "separation of church and state." What's really at state in all this dust up is the moral center of American culture. If the ACLU and their friends get their way not only will public expressions of morality (don't let the drape of religion fool you, this is about the destruction of morality) be outlawed, but eventually the very concept of an overarching moral code will be swept away in favor of a do-it-yourself, make it up as you go along kind of morality.

When, and if, that happens our world will certainly be a mirror image of Harry Potter's world where there is virtually no difference between right and wrong. The Bible tells us that during the time of the Judges that everyone did what was 'right in their own eyes" (see Judges 21:25), which is a prescription for disaster.

Sadly, this is already true for too many who call themselves Christians. As Paul wrote, they have a "form of godliness" but deny its power (2 Timothy 3:5). A Christian who pays only lip service to the Word of God is really nothing more than an unbeliever in church clothing. We cannot simply pick and choose what we will follow and disregard the rest. The Bible is either the Word of God in its entirety or it's nothing but empty words. Could that be part of the reason that it's almost impossible to tell the difference between most "Christians" and the unbelieving world around them?

Something to think about.

Lessons Learned?

The recent deaths of Michael Jackson, the "King of Pop," and Steve "Air" McNair, former professional football player highlight the bankruptcy of American culture. Death has a way of bringing out the worst in us, not that many of us need any help in revealing our dark side. While in graduate school I worked for three years in a funeral home and saw first hand the effect that death has on every strata of our culture. Sadly, the deaths of the rich and famous are more often than not opportunity for spectacle and aggrandizement than serious introspection.

The Michael Jackson memorial service is a prime example of spectacle and aggrandizement. From parading elephants to parading people in various degrees of costume, Jackson's service had it all. There were widespread reports of ticket scalping. The speakers all praised Jackson, speaking in glowing terms. The crowds outside were filled with people who spoke of Jackson's effect on their life. My question throughout all this praise: What did Michael Jackson do to merit such effusive praise?

I mean no disrespect, but Michael Jackson made no great discoveries, found no cure for any diseases, did not pour out his life helping others. Michael Jackson's greatest contribution to the human race was his album "Thriller."Michael Jackson spent his life in a constant state of turmoil, as evidenced by his bizarre behavior and choices. Jackson himself once bemoaned the fact that he did not have a normal childhood, a regret that seemed to exercise immense control over the rest of his life. I do not deny his talent, but I wonder if that talent improved our world or the plight of anyone in it. All Jackson's millions and all his fame will have no lasting impact on the world.

Steve McNair was a great football player, and by all accounts a good man. He rose above his own difficult circumstances to make something of himself. Yet when the cheering stopped McNair seemed to have trouble adjusting to the mundane life that the rest of us live. McNair, the married father of four sons, had a very troubling relationship with a young woman almost half his age. It seems that this relationship cost McNair his life. I wonder why McNair could not honor his vows to his wife or his responsibility to his sons. McNair lost his life...his family lost far more.

I realize that my opinion concerning McNair is not popular, not that I care about being popular, but I refuse to excuse his choices simply because he was a great football player. I also refuse to rationalize his failures because he was a man or, as one columnist has said, a black man. Manhood, fatherhood, the commitment to your wife are all more important than the need to feel valued or manly. Mr. McNair, at least for me, forever tarnished his legacy and reputation. One man's need to relive the glory days has left four boys without a father.

Michael Jackson's fame and fortune. Steve McNair's fame and physical ability. Neither man found the answers that he sought. They both died tragically, but perhaps more tragically is that fact that they are not alone. So many of us hope to find the answers to our longings in fame, fortune or physical conquest. But there is no hope to be found in any of those things. They are all fleeting. At best fame and fortune are illusions, diverting us from the real answers for an all too brief time and leaving a greater longing than existed before.

Mr. Jackson and Mr. McNair have already learned the truth...Will we learn the truth before it's too late?

Do You See What I See?

Recently David Letterman opened his mouth and swallowed his foot. Letterman's comedy is an acquired taste, to say the least, but I must confess to rarely missing his show during his first ten years or so on the air. I particularly enjoyed his "Top Ten" lists and will even today tune in from time to time to watch them.

Having said all that I must confess to missing the recent program in which Letterman made, or attempted to make, a joke concerning Sarah Palin's daughters. I have since seen a video of the joke. My initial reaction was one of disgust. That type of humor is why I stopped watching Letterman regularly. My second reaction was to ask the question: "Didn't anybody learn anything from the Don Imus incident?" Imus, as you may recall, temporarily lost his job and millions of dollars for a remark about the Rutgers University woman's basketball team. I am of the opinion that Imus' joke, as he called it, was much less offensive than Letterman's. Not that either is in any way appropriate. It remains to be seen what price Letterman will pay for his crude attempt at humor.

Recently Letterman issued a public apology in an attempt to blunt the backlash his "joke" has engendered. During his apology Letterman made this statement; "My intent is completely meaningless compared to the perception." I'm sure that there aren't many who remember the Andre Agassi ad campaign with the slogan "Image is everything." Letterman's intent is certainly open to debate, but we will not consider such things today. Unfortunately his words are all too true for almost every aspect of our culture. We vote for politicians, make purchase decisions, and choose churches based on perceptions. Unfortunately we too often find that perceptions are seldom equal to reality.

Unfortunately the power of perception rings true in the lives of many belivers as well. The Bible calls it hypocrisy. Very simply: far too many believers give off a vastly different perception of who they are as opposed to who they say they are. Basically, their walk doesn't match their talk. Therein lies much of what is wrong with the church today. Jesus told us that our actions reveal what is truly in our hearts. The perception about Christians is that we are hypocrites. I realize that this is a gross generalization, but the truth is that the world lumps all "christians" together. You get painted with the same brush as all other believers, good or bad.

How do we change the perception? There is only one way. Daily, consistent, persistent faithfulness that is lived out in acts of love. We can love all men without compromising the truth or disregarding the word of God. Why do we fail? Because it's hard work. We can no longer expect our words alone to be enough. We must put feet to our faith.

That Which Defines Us.

Last week I had the distinct pleasure of taking my wife and two youngest children to see the movie "Up." My youngest are 9 and 10, so the movies we usually see are not the kinds of movies that inspire deep reflection on the meaning of life. Not that many movies inspire reflection of any kind. Yet all movies, and for that matter all forms of entertainment, flow from a philosophical base that informs everything that they present. As a parent and as a Christian I have a responsibility to carefully screen what my children are exposed to and when they are exposed to those things. I was not disappointed by "Up."



At its heart "Up" is a movie about dealing with disappointment. I don't want to give away the story, especially since I want you to see the movie for yourselves, but the movie centers around the reaction of a man to the death of his wife. The movie deals very poignantly and powerfully with the bitterness of life, the pain of unrealized dreams, and the crushing effects of loss. "Up" does not hesitate to present the harshness and struggle of life.

Harshness and struggle. We don't like those two words. The realities of life are far too often the direct opposite of the hopes and dreams that we create for ourselves in our youth. Yet words like harshness and struggle more accurately describe life than "happily ever after." Please don't think that I am a pessimist, far from it. My life has been characterized not by defeat but by victory over incredible odds and crushing losses. My faith in Christ has enabled me to find hope and meaning in hopeless loss and devastating rejection. My life has taught me that without Christ there is no hope of any kind.

I believe that we are defined not by our success but how we handle the adversities of our lives. Yet somehow that truth is never spoken of and we do not equip our children to deal with the struggles and disappointments that are such a large part of life. As a result we have raised generation after generation who are unable to cope or find meaning when life doesn't deliver what they expect.

Christians are not immune to this dilemma. The most bitter people that I have ever known are Christians whom God has "let down" by not delivering on their hopes and dreams. They seem to believe that faith in Jesus should guarantee their happiness. Salvation is not a cure all or a magic ticket to escape from all our troubles. Jesus even told us that we should expect trouble in this world. Those words are in direct opposition to much of what passes for the gospel in many churches and on many television programs today. Those who preach and teach such a "gospel" are responsible for bringing great damage to many.

So what should our response be? We must remember that while we are not guaranteed happiness and success in this life we are promised the continual presence of the Holy Spirit. The presence of God is the key to making sense of setback and heartache. We must also come to the understanding that the focus of the believer's life should be on faithful obedience that pleases the Lord, not on our selfish desires. The title of Max Lucado's book puts it into perspective: It's Not About Me. Too much in modern Christendom is about anything but God. Lastly (although certainly not exhaustively) we must come to understand that nothing comes to pass in our lives by happenstance and that, while we may be caught by surprise, God is not. There is a purpose to be found in the death of spouse or children, abandonment, and failure. But that purpose will not be found in ourselves.

The lead character in "Up" discovered (or perhaps rediscovered) that life is found not in the attainment of dreams, but in the process of living itself. When his focus shifted from himself to others he discovered life. When Christians give up "us" when can find real life in God.

And to think that I thought about all this from an animated movie.

Ya never know.

The Last Straw?

It's already been quite a week, and it's only Tuesday! I had originally intended to talk about the bankruptcy of General Motors (or "Government Motors" as some now call it), but I heard something on the radio today that gave me pause. While driving home after taking my wife and two youngest to see the movie "Up" (a movie I highly recommend) I heard a radio news report concerning President Obama's press conference on the issue of the health care "crisis."



I have no desire to wade into the morass that is the "debate" concerning health care. I am currently paying a number of doctor and hospital bills that were either not covered or only partially covered by my insurance. Would I like better benefits? Yes. Would I like a drug benefit that made sense? Of course. Would I like to be able to make sense of the policy materials and payment schedules? Who wouldn't. Yes, there is much about American health care that doesn't make sense, but we still have the best health care system in the world.



What concerned me about the President's press conference was the report that Congressional Democrats (are there any others on the Hill?) intended to have a plan for health care reform ready for the President's signature in eight to ten weeks. I nearly swallowed my teeth when I heard that. But thankfully I didn't because I don't have dental insurance and I'm sure my regular coverage wouldn't consider such an incident as a coverable accident.



To put this in perspective let me remind you that health care represents one-eighth of the total U.S. economy. The thought that a meaningful plan for health care reform could be crafted in only eight weeks is mind boggling! But what is most frightening about this is the cost. No one is talking about the cost of reforming health care, or the universal health care that is the apple of Sen. Ted Kennedy's eye. Consider this: Medicare and Social Security are both on the verge of bankruptcy. No one is calling for reform to these two massive programs. Those two programs together don't even come close to approaching the cost of health care reform. Yet the current administration seems willing to throw money (and caution) to the wind in the name of "saving" this or that. First it was the mortgage crisis, then the banking crisis, then the automobile crisis...what's next?



The real problem, and greatest danger, is that this country does not have an infinite amount of wealth at its disposal. Sooner or later (sooner if current trends continue) the well will run dry. We are already seeing projected deficits in the trillions of dollars. Yet no one, no Democrat or Republican (the new gutless wonders), is sounding the call for fiscal restraint and responsibility. Where will it all end?

With the bankruptcy of this nation.

All our technological and military might won't save us when the economy distintigrates under the weight of our fiscal irresponsibility. No amount of reform will save us then.